Girl on the block....still

Another week at Film Oxford and things are going nicely. I must admit though I've had a dip this week, nothing to do with Film Oxford, it's me. I have this terrible curse that I live with involving my lack of confidence. 'Confidence?!' I hear those who know me cry. I don't mean talking to people and mixing, Lord knows I'd talk to a goat and I'm definitely not shy. What I mean is confidence in my capabilities, there's only been one person holding me back all my life, and that's me. I just doubt my abilities and let it get to me. I want to learn so much whilst I'm here but I know that If I'm not careful I will not push my self and fail to achieve the goals I set out to. Whats become apparent, and a running theme through out Film Oxford is that 99% of film making/writing is just getting on with it, getting stuck in, giving it a try. Now when you have no confidence in what you're doing this can be a problem. I know I just need to get over it and crack on and I'm really not going to let me get in the way of me! Right! That's my talking to, continue.....

So, another interesting week, meeting with Ali, assisting with the ongoing arrangements for the Reel Women course and screening event. On the practical side I helped Rodger prepare equipment for the Shooting Video course Suzy Prior runs in the evenings. I did this course before Christmas and had a great time, Suzy is a fabulous tutor with a great sense of humour which always helps, I thoroughly recommend it to any new budding film maker. Also, I've done some general office stuff I'm updating the film libraries back catalogue , this gives me the chance to become familiar with some of the finished films. On the whole it's been an interesting and varied week and I feel I'm settling in well (not sure what the other staff members would say!).

I'm on an Editing course this weekend at Film Oxford so looking forward to that. I really hope that I shake off the feeling of inadequacy allowing myself to develop instead of taking a back sit and just going along for the ride. I need to get hold of the gear stick, Oh Matron! But you know what I mean. There is nothing Film Oxford can do about it, this is my mission. To infinity and beyond.......oh shut up woman!