The last two weeks have gone well, I seem to have my routine now and am able to get on with work even if there's no one about to give a specific job at that time. Every ones been great and the work environment is relaxed and friendly. Still doing a variation of jobs from technical, practical to general office work. This has been interesting and I've been able to spot what I really like doing and what feels not so suited to me.
The pre -course preparations are now complete for the The Reel Women course which starts this week. I've really enjoyed this and am looking forward to helping out on the actual course. I think I can confirm that I prefer to be working with people, organising, doing some marketing, communicating. This I have found really enjoyable and it's great to be able to be part of the teaching course and I can't wait to meet the group of women and get hands on.
I've also discovered that computers are not my friend. OK, well i know they're not supposed to be, but what I mean is that I don't get as much satisfaction when it comes to the technical side of stuff. Don't get me wrong I'm really eager to learn and fully understand that the skills I'm gaining are extremely useful, but I just don't get as much satisfaction when doing them. No that's not right either, what I mean is that I feel a bit of a bubble head when trying to learn the skills. I find myself staring on with a blank expression as my brain tries to absorb the information, not a good look in front of an employer! I do get there in the end, it just takes a little longer than other stuff. The old lack of confidence plays a part as well, if I start to fluster then I can't concentrate making things even worse. I have learnt that I just need to take the time it takes for it to sink in, not be scared to ask questions if I'm unsure. It can sometimes feel uncomfortable when asking for the 4th time to have something explained, but I've learnt it's best to feel like a numpty for 5 mins than be dumb to the job in hand for the rest of the time I'm there!
That said, Nomita (the graphic design volunteer) and I have been editing a film she made with a group on one of the courses and I've loved it! I even came in on a day off to do it, it's addictive. So even though I'm using editing software, because there is a creative side to it I find it enjoyable and satisfying. I've discovered a few things about myself to date at Film Oxford and I'm trying my hardest to handle things differently not allowing my lack of confidence beat me and prevent me from developing. This experience could end up being just what I've needed on a personal level to encourage me to continue in the future, an unexpected side to the placement that I hadn't really thought about before starting. Steady on....getting a bit deep here!
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